$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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