hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
