I'm laying in your front yard are you home
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
