Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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