She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
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