my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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