he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
