Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
well you can't waste a boner
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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