so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
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