What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
i think i just lost a toe
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
