Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm at about main and main street
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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