ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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