He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
