Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
When did we convert life to cartoon?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
