can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
