I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You were trust falling into bushes
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
