Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
