Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
