Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
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