What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
