these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
