I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
