I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
