I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Where did you get a picture of my penis
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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