Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
where are my eyebrows?
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