my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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