I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Randomize
