I cannot find my penis.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
