seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
