This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
