Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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