did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
