just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
