omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
