Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
