I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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