his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Randomize
