It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
