where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize
