Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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