don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
