I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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