How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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