He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
