I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Fuck appropriateness.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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