just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
