I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
