I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
