Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I checked into jail on foursquare
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
How's work?
Spinning.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
