I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
