don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
