you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
