there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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