Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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