is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
