DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
