1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
