when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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