So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
