There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
