So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
