I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
