Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
