I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
