just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
